The third asshole in this collection was created by Charlie Anders, the author of “Choir Boy” (Soft Skull Press 2005), the publisher of Other Magazine, and a frequent contributor to such literary rags as ZYZZYVA, Pindeldyboz, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and the San Francisco Bay Guardian. She also hosts San Francisco’s much-beloved Writers With Drinks, the only reading series in which writers are actively encouraged to get smashed.
Her asshole is, in her own words, a “hastily drawn crayola sketch.” But what it lacks in artistry it more than makes up for with disturbing imagery. I was initially confused, wondering if Charlie was suggesting that her bunghole is a sharp dresser who never leaves the apartment without a tuxedo.
“This is what happens when I try to copy a movie poster in crayon,” she explained. “The butthole isn’t wearing a tuxedo, that’s James Bond. He’s surrounded by Octoasspussy, which is my eight-fold butthole wrapping him in its web of intrigue.”
While I was saddened to learn that her asshole has never attended a black-tie ball while dressed in formal wear, she did admit that she once used a cummerbund as a buttplug in an emergency.