When not contemplating her own you-know-what, Nola Summers writes filthy horoscopes, book reviews, poetry, and assorted other things for places like Pulp and Clean Sheets. She’s also contributed to anthologies like The Mammoth Book of Erotica, The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica, The Mammoth Book of Women’s Fantasies, and other books that don’t have “Mammoth” in the title.

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She created her asshole self-portrait using an HB pencil and a red Prang pencil crayon – which was, she assured me, “sharpened to a most delicious point.”

Perhaps, as I did, you looked at Nola’s asshole and, upon realizing that it’s wrapped in a festive bow, emitted a high-pitched yelp of glee, like a kid running downstairs on Christmas morning. Or, more than likely, you just stared at it quizzically, wondering how Santa could have so completely misunderstood your gift requests.

“Good things come in small packages,” she explained. “And you may interpret that any way you wish.”