What can you say about a writer like Carlton Mellick III? He’s published at least 18 novels and novellas, with strangely compelling names like Satan Burger (Eraserhead Press, 2001), Razor Wire Pubic Hair (Eraserhead Press, 2003), and most recently, The Haunted Vagina (Eraserhead Press, 2006). Along with Steve Aylett and D. Harlan Wilson, he helped form the “bizarro” movement in underground lit. And most impressive of all, he has the bushiest sideburns in literature since Isaac Asimov.


Carlton was mysteriously vague in explaining the creative process behind his asshole. It appears to be a movie poster for the 1983 camp classic Krull. His asshole – and I’m only guessing here – is represented by the Glaive, a five-clawed throwing disc used by Prince Colwyn in his battle against the Slayers. Carlton declined my invitation to do, as he put it, a “cheap Vonnegutish drawing.”

“This is totally what my asshole looks like,” he explained. We’ll have to take him on his word.