Brian Beatty has written many, many things. Some of them are stories, some are poems, and some defy description. You can read his work in print and online at places like The Big Jewel, Exquisite Corpse, Hobart, Monkeybicycle, Opium, The Quarterly, Shattered Wig Review, Word Riot and Yankee Pot Roast.


“I’ve always known that my asshole represents the best that civilized society can aspire to,” Brian told me, without a lick of irony. “But drawing even a simple dove proved too difficult for my sad abilities, which is why I ended up tossing away my crayons and importing a dingbat symbol via Microsoft Word instead.”

Brian decided to include a caption with his asshole, to ensure that it wouldn’t be mistaken for, as he put it, “religious iconography or a dirty, dirty pigeon.”

But don’t look for too much meaning in Brian’s asshole self-portrait. “I did it all in blue,” he says, “because I believe, metaphorically at least, that my asshole should match my eyes.”