In addition to selling her prose to The LA Times and Time Out Chicago, Claire Zulkey also runs the website and the Funny Ha-Ha reading series in Chicago. Her self-portrait was created with Microsoft Paint, and it’s probably the most adorable (and certainly the most colorful) anus you’ll ever set eyes on.


As Claire explains, “I’m simply under the impression that (this) is what all ladies’ assholes look like.” But there’s mystery in this drawing, as well. Most notably, why are its eyes closed? Could her asshole be sleeping? And if so, why is it smiling? It begs the question, “When Claire Zulkey’s asshole is deep in slumber, are its dreams filled with sweet sugar plums and happy memories of friends not soon forgotten?”