Noria Jablonski is an author who really, really loves freaks. Her first book, a collection of short stories called Human Oddities (Shoemaker & Hoard, 2005), more than lives up to its name. If you’re like me and believe that there aren’t nearly enough stories about severed monkey hands and conjoined twins, than you sha’nt be disappointed.


Her asshole, as she’s the first to admit, “Looks more like my colon than my asshole, but I’ve never seen my colon so it’s just a guess. I saw Katie Couric’s colonoscopy on TV and her colon did look like this drawing, kind of.”

When I mentioned to her that her asshole resembled one of those spinning spiral wheels used by hypnotists, she was quick to agree. But, she added, “It could also be that I suffer from vertigo. Or it could be a labyrinth. It’s sort of like a snail shell. A vortex. A whirlpool, tornado, a spiral galaxy.”